Sunday, May 26, 2013

You probably shouldn't read this... 5.26.2013

I can blog about it though lol.
I can’t write about you.

Like when you write things they actually exist to me.

Words are all I have and it scares me to write this.

I can’t let you read this.

I can’t tell you I wrote about you.

Not for awhile.

When I write I get fake deep.

Tears well up behind my eyes for no reason at all.

Im not upset.


When I begin to get all these thoughts out… its like they all TRY to rush to the page.

I cant write for you.

I cant let you read my real thoughts.

Because then things are real.

I used to let Stink read everything.

I let her in.

I wrote, well threw something together for Lunchbox.

I let him in.

I’m not ready.

My words are my last wall.

My last guard.

If I were to write how I feel.

Then it would be real.
I love having this blog.
But I never use it. 
Heaviest of sighs. 
I like to look back and read the thoughts of an earlier self so I shall post today. 
I think I'm going to write a short story and post it later. 

This list is certainly a work in progress a buttt here we go ASHLEIGH"S BUCKET LIST:
-Sky Dive
-24 stamps on my passport
-Walk the runway in a televised fashion show
-Adopt children
- Get a big black dog, Name him Micheal Vick
-FLUENT in another language.. besides sarcasm
-donate my hair to locks of love
-Scuba dive
-Have something published
-Go to Paris to take a pastry class
-Love at first sight. . . 
-Own a boat
-Find out if I have a fear? concur it. (I really dont have any irrational fears I mean I have things I dont like but there isnt one thing that I am just AFRAID of)
-try sushi
-Learn to: skateboard, play the guitar, and pilot a plane
-Read the entire Bible
-Have a dope Azz blog!!

This is all I can think of. If I keep up this blog I'll refer back and check things off ^__^ I wish everyone I knew would post their bucket list because I know yall have some cool ish you want to do!

Thanks for reading