Thank God for granting me, this moment of clarity....

So my epiphany hit me at approx 9:50 pm September 20, 2011

I'll start from the beginning. Today in visual merchandising class we are working on a window display project. I raise my hand an ask "In the real world, for projects like these will there always be a group of ppl having to agree on a single display? Sounds annoying to compromise for a living"
The reply was no, not if youre the art director or you are in charge. Mostly ppl discuss ideas and the one in charge says yes or no.

Later in this same class we break in to our groups...blah blah blah group work is for the birds.
My professor asked us to write up a detailed plan for action for our project. Write out each and every step literally. Once we turned in our plans she tells us "whoever has the most detailed plan will be the project manager. It is the most responsibility b/c u must delegate and make sure everything goes smoothly and is completed"

All day afterwards all I could think was- Damn I hope I'm project manager!!
I have a type A personality. I like to lead and I like things to go right. In my mind right is my way!
So I get online looking up internships and up until this point I couldnt pinpoint exactly what it was I wanted to do with my life. I knew it would be fashion oriented but beyond that I wasnt sure.
PROJECT MANAGEMENT
Sooo for example you work for Louis Vitton. Yall want to launch a belt line and revamp the whole campaign effectively and inexpensively. You then hire ME. I come in tell who what to do and when to do it. You trust my consulting opinion because I DO THIS. If theres one thing I know how to do, its how to be RIGHT. Just ask my exes! Lmao
Ahhh if youre still reading youre amazing! Im researching my future career as we speak...... <3

Oh my po lil blog!

I've missed thee. Getting my thoughts out. Its really a release I didnt know I would miss. 

Randomness swirling swirling. 

My mind goes from thinking about this young man and what went wrong wit that shit, to what am I doing upon graduation, to adding ish to my To Do List, to what will I eat next even tho I dont think I should be eating, to praying for strength. But I digress. 

I'm back updating my lil blog! :) If you're reading this heyyyyyy you! lol

Today's topic is, my selective memory.

I can mentally block out events that happened. Things I didn't like. People I regret meeting. Arguments I regret having. I can delete it from my memory. But is it really gone? Like one day will I think back and recall all foolishness Ive chosen not to dwell on for the sake of my emotional stability? 

Will all the times Ive decided to play it cool all add up and one day I become that girl who cries and stuff?

I have like a storage locker in my brain (or maybe its in my heart) that I don't go in to. I just throw all stupid shit in there. Things I'd rather not think about and I lock it. The end. Eventually I forget, the happening turn in to hazy unfocused even dream like experiences. I'm like did that shit really happen? Yes Ash it did you just decided it didn't.......... hmmmm

I hope my bullshit cup never runs over. Then I'll end up on an episode of snapped somewhere! lol

I dont really ever forgive ppl and I for damn sure dont forget transgressions. I just take note put it in my storage of forgets, and select not to remember....

Very Superstitious

I often feel the need to have a preface for things. Kinda to ward off comments on things that I have already thought through. So here is the disclaimer: I have faith in God. I do believe all things can be done through Christ who strengthens me. I walk with conscious faith in the higher being of my choosing. Thus I do consider myself a Christian. HOWEVER I'm in to astrology and I have lots of superstitions that I stick to!


Im walking out of my door headed to work. They've been painting my apartment complex for weeks now. Sooo between myself and my car are two men on ladders painting. Ppl are walking under happily not knowing the bad luck they are possibly accruing for themselves!! Although I do have somewhere to be I walk myself alll the way around the building. Yes its that serious. This time last week I had to be carried AROUND the ladder b/c I refused to walk under it or on the fake ivy they have planted!


For example here are some of the old wives tales that I know of: 
Step on a crack break your mamas back (no jk)
- Don't look into a broken mirror
- Don't make a toast w empty glasses
- Don't talk about ppl or you'll have ugly kids
- DO NOT SWEEP MY FEET!!!
-Dream about fish someone is pregnant
- A baby isn't supposed to see themselves in a mirror until a year or 6 months
- Don't take the Lords name in vain
- If it rains on your wedding thats good luck
-If you're carrying low you're having a boy
- Heartburn during a pregnancy the baby has lots of hair
- Born w a hole by your tragus you have the gift of second sight
-If during your whole pregnancy you pick the gender u want, they'll be the opposite but w your chosen sex tendencies (cough cough)
- Right hand itch ur getting money
- Left hand itch, your about to owe someone ALOT
- Eye jumping or ears burning, someone is talking about you
- Dream about an ex, they're talking about you
- DONT BREAK THE SEAL!
- If you touch the _____ you must smoke
-If you drop the _______ your mate is cheating
- New years: 1st person through the threshold of your home must be a man w money in his pocket. Don't bring dirty clothes into the new year. Cook a pot of black eyed peas and cabbage!
Deep sigh . Thats all I can think of! I think all things happen for a reason and I don't want ANY REASON for things not to go my way. Lol some of these may seem far fetched but hey, if I do go through a spell of hard times I know its not bad luck. Bc I take preventative measures!! 

~Ash

I don't do numbers!!!

Sooo I got this great idea to do a blog for my natural hair anniversary which is in 3 DAYS (woop woop) By that day by the grace of  baby Jesus I will have a great blog with a collage and length checks and everything :-) 
The sad thing is, had I not uploaded a picture of my big chop on Facebook the day I took those safety scissors to my head I would have NO IDEA what day this nappiversary was! :((
Lately I've been thinking about how I cannot recall the dates of things that should be significant! 
Example:
- I was in a relationship with a young man for about 9 months. I have no idea what day an 'anniversary' would occur. Nor do I know his birthday >.<  horrible. 
-Idk what day I graduated highschool
-I cant remember either of my grandmothers bday (charge it to my head and not my heart)
-what day of the year is fathers day or mothers day?
-what date will I graduate college?
-Every time I am about to write the date I check my phone! 
- I thought I met the current beaux in February. Yesterday he informed me it was October :/
As a girl aren't I supposed to come installed with some internal date book for special moments??  When was my first kiss or lame sap stuff like that?? And don't get me started on phone numbers! I know mine, my moms, and my dads. The end! Its a great thing I wasn't born at the time that each town had a specific number for 911 >.< 
Idk I will try to do better. I have a selective memory and I don't like math. Those two combined is probably why I suck at this.
THE NUMBERS I HAVE RETAINED:
May 17
March 1
Dec 30
Oct 24
Feb 28
April 10

Summer Time FINE

Ok sooo on the outside looking in I may be tiny, skin and bones, "need to eat something' blah blah blah. All the rude things ppl say to skinny ppl because apparently our lack of body fat means we dont have feelings. But I digress... Anywhoozle I am actually at the highest weight of my life.I didnt gain the freshman 15 I gained the junior 20! Today I tried to put on my favorite jeans and I couldnt get em past my knees. >.,<

     So Ash why dont you just go up a size? Good question MegaAshleigh heres my response: A HELL NO!

I refuse. I wear a size 3 and thats the end dammit! grrr So I kindly took off my too tight Levis and put on my jeggings. Pajama jeans as SOMEONE kept calling them <---- side eye of death... So anyway yea I put on my fat day pants and came on  in to work.

    *Disclaimer* By no means do I feel that I am over weight, I have no plans to be anorexic and when I look in the mirror I do not see a 300 lb girl.
 I do however KNOW that I cannot fit my jeans. And although I titled this summer time fine I would really just like to shed a few before jean seaon rolls on back around.

    In highschool I made a goal to buy 100 pairs of jeans (dont ask why, these are the confessions of a shopaholic) All of those jeans and all bought since then are a size 3-5. I am NOT donked out there is no reason I shouldnt be in those pants! grrrrr Ok I pay my student fees for a reason and I shall return to using the RAC!

    Im one of those ppl who has to write things down for them to actually exist sooo imma do a lil research on the best fitness plan to get back int to your favorite jeans and viola it WILL happen... 

   I'll do a follow up and maybe some healthy eating tips I pick up I hope anyone reading this and feeling the same way decided upon completion that theyll get summer time fine with me :())

Thanks.

Ash <3

In case I kick the bucket one day... here is my TO DO LIST

This list is certainly a work in progress a buttt here we go ASHLEIGH"S BUCKET LIST:

-Sky Dive

-tattoo

-24 stamps on my passport

-Walk the runway in a televised fashion show

-Adopt children

- Get a big black dog, Name him Micheal Vick

-FLUENT in another language.. besides sarcasm

-donate my hair to locks of love

-scuba dive

-Have something published

-Go to Paris to take a pastry class

-Love at first site. . . 

-Own a boat

-Find out if I have a fear? concur it. (I really dont have any irrational fears I mean I have things I dont like but there isnt one thing that I am just AFRAID of)

-try sushi

-Learn to: skateboard, play the guitar, and pilot a plane

-read the entire Bible

-Have a dope Azz blog!!

This is all I can think of. If I keep up this blog I'll refer back and check things off ^__^ I wish everyone I knew would post their bucket list because I know yall have some cool ish you want to do!

Thanks for reading 

Ash.

MASTERING THE ART OF ATTRACTION

I usually dont watch these types of videos. Hers wasnt very long so I opened my ears. I was pretty young when The Secret came out but at this point I've been doing some introspective thinking. I'm about to graduate and it's about time for me to work on my positive thinking skills. If that makes any sense. I'm not really the type to have a sense of entitlement BUT I am quite used to things going my way. I wonder if a vision board will assist me.
The other day a friend of mind said he speakss things in to existance and that helps him to stay self motivated. I am moderately motivated and not really disicpline at all soooo I have got to do better! Ashleigh its time to werk on you! (yes I spelled it werk, and yes I referred to me in the 3rd person)
Thanks for reading
Youre an asset to my life,
Ash <3

How I bring my weave back from the dead..

I am an avid youtube watcher. I rarely accidentally come up on treasures such as this ghetto mess right here. Youtube actually suggested this one for me. Ha! that makes me sad. The video selections I've made have led them to suggest THIS. She's serious... thats fine

I mean she starts the first 5 seconds cursing at the baby. What???

Gutted. Enjoy :)

THE BITCH GAME THEORY !

Honestly she said it all for me. This is indeed the case. Its worth watching it all the way through. She's young but has it broken down! hhahaah real shit I liked this video...

An attempt to be transparent.

Hi, Im Ashleigh. Its really tough for me to open up to ppl. Even my closest friends don't know that half of what goes on with me. Tonight I'm pretty much in my feelings so blleeeehhh I'm about to spill a little out. Just a little.
    Sooooo ok I'm just getting in from the movies. I went to see Jumping the Broom with my sister (the only person I seem to go on movie dates with as of late) The movie was a little campy but the eye candy was MUCH appreciated. But I digress. It had me thinking, will I ever get married? 
    Once I was dating this guy, and my mom jokingly told me she sent me to college to get my Mrs. (ya know like B.S B.A PhD?) Anywhoooooo I thought about what she said over and over. This young man was nice but not who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Is there a person I'll meet that I want to spend my forever with?? I thought thats what I wanted with my first love...That would be a tumultuous forever. Intense to say the least. Is that what I want to sign up for?? I'm 20 do I have to choose now???
Half my friends have kids the other half are married... Really?! Is it that time of my life??
    You know how you hit 65 and your friends start dying (morbid example) Ok well you know how you hit 16 and all your friends start losing their V cards... yea is it that time.. to pick a forever partner??
To say yes to living in Oregon with our 3 kids and a Husky? To say yes to living in Connecticut and commuting to our amazing fashion jobs in New York?? Is it THAT TIME??? 
   no. cant be.
I'm 20. I don't know what I want. This is college. My experience wont be like the sitcoms. I'm not gonna find that one that sweeps me off my feet and we run away and get married. I have 8 months left. Im not looking to have a different last name at graduation. All I want to hear is Ashleigh Williams Cum Laud. My grades. Me excelling thats what I want to look back on from college. Not where I searched across campus for a soulmate. I've been here three years, no offense if we're school mates but y'all aren't forever material!!!!
     Who am I to say that? I may meet the one of my dreams this Sunday at Elm St...I doubt it tho (since the world is ending Saturday and all -__- ). I have a few months left here, all I ask is to be entertained..
Burn one.

    

Beyoncé - Run The World (Girls)

I am a Beyonce fan.

In first hearing the song I didn't like it.

After hearing it a few times, downloading it, and seeing the video

I still don't like it.

I love the video tho!! ^__^ She has hyenas on leashes ahhh. And the little routine at the end when she's wearing the green... She must've had on some SUPER double sided tape.

The message of the song is great. Girl power yada yada yada. Lets just say this one wont make the top 25 on my iPod. But as I said I am a BEYONCE FAN. This woman can do no wrong.

Who run the world?

BEY!!

** who run the world <--- perpetuating the horrible grammar of our youth smh girl power tho -__-

Go, go, go, GO

I am a BEYONCE STAN. I LOVED Destiny's Child but I would never call myself a Kelly Rowland fan. Until now. I frigggggiiiinnnn <3 this song!! Its just so smooth, sexy and slick empowering.

Let me be yo motivation to keep going! Lol it just makes me feel some type of way. Thee perfect "drought is over" anthem. If you have a 'Get it' playlist, put this on there. If you don't have one, make one, and put this as number one.

Clearly for me the Sex Sells marketing worked for me.

Gone and make me rain.

Sleaze.

Columbus GA

Deep sigh. The good ole Colga where I spent my high school years. Philly born and raised transplanted to Columbus GA. As a young lass I assumed every where in Georgia was country and everyone raised pigs and cattle. To my surprise this was not what I found when I moved here in 2004. It is nothing like my city more like a high way rest stop exit but here is what I call home. I'm here for a week so plenty blogs will probably be written. I'm like a recluse here. Avoiding ppl I didn't fool with in high school and things of that nature. I fraternize with my bff's and thats about it. bright side we have a Target here *grasping for straws here clearly.* This place. Oh this place I love my family but I wish they were located in a more fun place.

   Guess I will use these days to rest, collect my mind, and work on this blog thang.

Deep sigh.

Im enGAUGED!!!

Random acts of recklessness!!!
After a minor setback earlier today I found myself in a slump...
Hmmm I tried to eat my way to happiness. 16 oz of New York strip deliciousness. And about 5 slices of bread and butter...and one fully loaded bake potato later i was still a mullet face!!
Retail therapy? Of course 5 candles later.. Im still like ehhhh.
Sooo after consultation with my amazing emergency response team we find ourselves at a tattoo shop.

I have no ink but Ive had a few punctures in my day.
Piercings? LEHGO.
what to get: Horizontal tounge ring again
                   lip
                   back dimples?? 120.. HELL NAW
                   finger
                  smiley
                  anti eye brow
no no no. At this point Im like its a no go. No holes for Ash today. Then a little bird whispers *gauge* huh?? never have I ever thought about gauging my ears seeing as though they are the size of a toddlers...

after bat 15 minutes of debate...
and there you have it!! a lil swollen but thats to be expected. 4g, pink and glittery. DOPE

Clothing is debatable.

I love to shop.
Ive recently come to realize I don't like to buy shirts. ALL my shirts are plain, tanks and tees.. >.< but why?
If I didn't have to I probably wouldn't wear shirts.
BOOBIES (  .  ) (  .  )
Just dresses, pretty bras, and bikini tops!
Yea this is pretty random.
You probably shouldn't read this.
Shirts are for thee conformists.

Twitter Addict >_< Oh no!

Soooo if you follow me you KNOW I utilize my 140 characters......Thats not good. Sometimes before you even think about your reaction to a situation the tweet is composed and sent! I <3 the streaming commentary plus being up to date on whats goin on around campus but at 473 followers I believe my twitter reign is over. Perhaps I will use my twitter to promote my new blog..ehhh probably not. For some reason I don't want ppl I know to read my blog. Then they'll see behind my veil of vague nonchalantness....Could not jump on the tumblr bandwagon sooo on blogspot I have arrived. 
Hi. Im Ashleigh and I am a twitter addict...EEEK